Overcoming Obstacles – My First 10k

A few Saturdays ago my friend Angie came over for our weekly meal prep date. Yes, we have pretty much replaced “going out” with “working out” these days, and our “girls night in” includes cutting, steaming, and filling about 30 Gladware containers for the week ahead. Anyway, we were talking about our schedule for the week and she mentioned she was doing the Fiesta 10k that next Saturday. I made the mistake of saying “oh man I wonder if registration is still open…” to which she promptly discovered that YES it still was. I tried to back out – thinking I must be losing my absolute MIND – but Angie promised she would stay with me the entire route. She said we would do it “just for fun” and to say we’ve finished and not worry about the time… a few minutes of convincing and the next thing I knew, I was signed up to run a 10k… with six days notice.

fiesta

I went out running the next day in the neighborhood and PR’d for a 5k. I felt relieved – maybe I won’t die Saturday. Then the crazy of the week began and I didn’t have time to run any of the rest of the days of the week. I went to Angie’s ReFit class on Thursday night… and twisted.my.freaking.knee. Something I literally haven’t done since The Teen was a toddler. I went for a lunge and I went one way – and my knee went the other. I felt it the moment it happened, and knew I was hurt. It felt just exactly the way it felt many years ago on that football field when I tore my ACL. It was not as painful as that was, but the popping sensation was the same, and I was crushed. I limped off to the side, gathered my things, and headed home before class was over, trying to hide the tears.

Friday I rested, but there was still pain. I got a stabilizing brace for my knee, and prayed I would be ok for the run Saturday. My family was upset with me for even doing the run still – worried I would do permanent damage to my knee. But I had set my mind to do it, and I just knew in my heart that I could, and that I would be ok. Angie stayed with me Friday night so she wouldn’t have to get up quite as early on Saturday. We got our race packets, got our stuff all set up while I was limping around, and as we called it a night we just gave each other a knowing look – praying my knee would hold out for the entire route.

fiesta 10k

Saturday morning we got up before dawn, picked up another friend, and drove to the race. It was a perfectly beautiful morning and I prayed for strength as I watched the sun rise over the water. To say that I was nervous is the understatement of year. Every step I took I felt that twinge in my knee – even with the brace on. I met up with all of my friends for about a million pictures, and then we took our places in line to begin. I, of course, took my spot in the back – where I expected to stay. (But surprisingly didn’t) 

We took off and just as promised – Angie stayed right by my side every step. In fact, we stayed IN step the entire thing. I am not sure if it was by accident or if maybe it is a subconscious throw back to my color guard days, but in the 20-some-odd pictures that people had of Angie and I running – we were exactly in step in every one of them. I know it was agonizing for her to stay with me – she easily would have completed this run long before I did, but she stayed with me… the whole time. We laughed, we cussed, we ran, we walked, we sang, we complained, we flirted with the water boys… it was an amazing 6.2 miles.

10k

I am both elated and proud to say that I completed my very first 10k – complete with twisted knee and zero training. It proved that even with setbacks, if you keep your eye on the goal, you can complete absolutely anything you set your mind to. It also proved that something can happen that you do not expect – I literally haven’t had knee pain in years – but it does not have to derail you from your goals. You CHOOSE what you let derail you and what you push through. It also proved that having someone by your side can sometimes make all the difference.

my first 10k

As they say, I have been “bitten by the running bug” and I am already planning for my next run. Who knows – maybe I will do a half marathon next year. Even though my time wasn’t pretty – talk about setting the bar really low for a time to beat lol – it felt great to just FINISH. There was something about that little medal – that I of course wore the whole rest of the day – that made me feel more accomplished than I had in months. THAT alone was worth the pain. :)

But… What If I Am Not MoscatoMom Anymore?

This morning I woke up about 8am, rolled over, and immediately felt the soreness in my legs from the 10k I ran yesterday. The whole house was still asleep – even the dog was still buried under the covers. I reached over and grabbed my iPhone off the nightstand like I do every morning, and began perusing Facebook to see what everyone else was up to. I had dozens of notifications – people still liking and congratulating me on my run. I read each one with a smile, then reached over and rubbed my little gold medal, hanging above my bed.

I launched my email app and saw I missed a post from my favorite blogger. In fact, she is the only blogger that I make a point to read every single post from, and have pretty religiously for years. I am not sure how I came across her blog, but even though our lives are vastly different on the outside, every word she has ever written I have felt on the inside. In the five-ish years I have followed her I have laughed, I have cried, I have gotten pissed off (for her, not at her) and I have sobbed. Like the ugly cry. For someone I have never met – and might not even recognize on the street if I ran in to her – I feel like I have known her for years, because in so many ways, I am her.

The email I received this morning was about her reflecting on the last four years since she decided to quit drinking, and how things have changed. She battled the idea of not being the “fun friend” at parties anymore and worried about not being invited places since she was not the wild and crazy up-for-anything girl she once was. She talked about letting go of toxic relationships, unhealthy friendships, and other things standing in her way of being truly happy with the changes she was making in her life.

As usual I felt like I could have written the post word for word.

My last few years have been a mix of the same. When I began MoscatoMom, it was who I was. The name fit me because pretty much no matter where I was, you could count on me having a glass of wine in hand. Girls Sushi Night? A california roll requires moscato. Invite me to a dinner party? Guess what I brought with me. Mardi Gras parade? Perfectly acceptable to drink wine from a box as to not have glass on the route. Special occasion? Just get a moscato di asti instead of champagne – you know it’s better anyway. But… that isn’t who I am anymore.

I am now the girl that wakes up on a Sunday morning sore from a run… not a hangover. Seldom am I awake past 9pm – due in part to the fact that I was up working out at 5am. With the exception of the little cups of draft beer I had after my 10k yesterday, I can not even tell you the last time I had a drink – much less a glass of wine. I have an entirely new circle of friends and we have all traded “working out” for “going out” and share recipes for healthy meals instead of wicked cocktails. I read labels and pay attention to what I eat, and gone are the days of drive throughs or dinner from a brightly colored box. In fact I have even learned to cook – something I never thought I would say. I am a far cry from who I was the day I bought MoscatoMom.com, and while it has been good to me all these years… it just simply isn’t “me” anymore.

I have spent the rest of the day contemplating a new blog name. Something that resonates with ME and who I am now… not who I was five or even ten years ago. And something that if I go through another crazy life change, will stick with me though that again as well. It is tough coming up with a new name of “who you are” or even “who you plan to be.” So far all I can come up with is who I am not. I even tossed it out to Facebook for others input, but nothing seemed to quite fit just right.

Some said to use my name – but Lynsey is constantly misspelled – plus do I use my maiden name or the name I will take when Mike and I marry? Do I use “mom” in the title and niche myself in to a “mommy blogger” even though my children are way past the age of most mommy bloggers children? Do I use a play on words or go with something completely off the wall random? I just don’t know.

It is both scary and exciting to not know exactly what comes next, but I guess that is part of what makes life interesting. All I know right now is that I will be changing from MoscatoMom in to something more “me” in the coming weeks… just as soon as I decide what that “me” is.

Running… The Right Way

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My entire life I have been a runner. I was that kid whose Mom said she never learned to walk – she went straight to running. I remember field day at Pensacola Beach Elementary – running through the sand dunes from obstacle to obstacle with my best friend Nicole.  In middle school I remember running around the soccer fields – picking blackberries from along the back fence and eating them until our mouths and hands turned purple. Then in high school I joined the Colorguard and spent countless hours running the football field – even running the bleachers “for fun.”

running quote

When I got older I took on a different kind of running. As soon as I turned 18 – I ran away with a blue eyed boy in a white uniform. I ran half way across the country, thinking he would love me forever. Needless to say – that didn’t happen. So I ran. Home. I began running away from my life. My responsibilities. I didn’t like having to deal with the hard stuff – money, jobs, relationships – so I just ran. I made terrible choices that were easier to run from than to face. My pattern became running away from anything that didn’t make me happy at that exact moment, instead of realizing the problem was me and I needed to change to make it better. It was just easier to run.

its-run-not-rum

At nearly 30 I realized I could not run any longer. Figuratively and literally. I decided to cut ties with everything negative in my life that was causing me to run. I was overweight, lazy, and miserable. I was tired. I was sick of running from my life. I began facing my insecurities, apologizing to those I had hurt, taking responsibility for my part in the disaster that was my life. By this time I had gotten so good at running that most people had no idea the internal struggle I was facing. On the outside I was a positive, successful business owner that people looked up to. That was all just part of the run. I began putting the parts of my life that I had run from back together – one step at a time.

running

One day on a whim I set a goal to run twelve 5ks in twelve months – even though it had been years since I had actually run anywhere. I had these great intentions of training for them… but I let life get in the way. I enjoyed some of the runs more than others, but the actual RUN part… I absolutely hated. I was fat. I was slow. I was miserable. I had horrible shin splints during every single one of them because I did zero training in between. I always had a crowd with me, and every single run I was the last of my group to cross the finish line. I pushed through all 12 – making each one a punishment for the years of running away from my life. After my 12 was over… I quit. I was sure I would never run again.

running-cheaper-than-therapy

Then I decided to do a triathlon. A triathlon! (What the hell was I thinking?! There is running in a triathlon!!) But I signed up anyway. And I was determined to train… the right way. I had everything else in my life straightened out… it was time to get back to running- the right way. I hit the pavement – walking the first mile, and then doing the Galloway Method for the second mile. My time was ridiculous. But I did it. By the end of that day my legs hurt, my ankles ached, and I wanted to eat everything in sight. But that was nothing compared to how I felt the next morning. And I ran the next day anyway… and the day after that. And the day after that.

running pain

This week I had my first run that I was truly proud of. A run that, had I been doing an actual 5k, would have put me closer to the front than my usual spot near the back. I did not run the entire thing – my lungs are still not up to the endurance of that yet – but it was a time I was super proud of. I was so sore the next day I did not want to move. But I had a smile on my face that absolutely could not be removed. With every step I took in soreness the next day, I remembered that time – every step, every song, every mental pep talk along the way. I was proud of myself… something I had not felt in a very long time.

running_whether_you_win_lose_or_collapse

This Saturday I will be running a 10k. It is my first time to ever run a long run, and will be the longest I have ever gone at one time, ever. It will be my first long run, my first medal, my first event as an actual runner. This week I had to make a horrible decision to leave a project behind that I had been pouring my heart in to for months. I have known for a long time that it was time to let it go, but I was trying not to “run away” from something again. But the relief I felt the moment I let it go made me realize I wasn’t running away anymore… now I am running towards something. Happiness.

just run

I Am An “Exerciser”… And I Am Perfectly Ok With That

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I have mentioned before that I am a part of a women’s group here in Pensacola called SBL. It is by far the most loving and supportive group of women I have ever encountered, and over the year and a half that I have been a member, I have made some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. While the group was originally started to be solely a weight loss support group, it has evolved in to a true sisterhood that supports each other the way all women should.

SBL

This week a topic came up for discussion that has been on my mind ever since. One of our members asked “When is it ok to start calling yourself an athlete?”

Thing is, many of us have begun training for upcoming triathlons, iron mans, marathons, and more. Our days are filled with swimming, biking, running, crossfit, zumba, ReFit, POUNDFit… you name it, the SBL girls create a LOT of sweat on a daily basis. And the question generated a pretty amazing conversation about what being an athlete “means” and where we all fall. Then someone commented with this post about “Are You An Athlete or an Exerciser?” It hit a nerve with a lot of people when they realized that … they might in fact not be an athlete and more of an exerciser. I commented on the thread that “I am an Exerciser… and I am PERFECTLY ok with that.”

Thing is – I am not going all of this to try to come in first or to eventually do an Iron Man or some extreme fitness challenge. I am doing it for fun. And because I enjoy it. And because I enjoy these ladies. And because ultimately I love the way I feel, and am even starting to love the way I look.

SBL collage

I care nothing about PR’ing – in fact even back when I did my 12 5ks in 12 months I wasn’t concerned with time. My best time that year was my run in September. Not the one in October… or November… or the two I did in December. Yep, my time got increasingly worse instead of better… and I could not have cared less. My goal was never to get sub-30 or to even beat my best time. I just enjoyed being there, getting the Tshirts (literally), and marking off the goal for the year. That’s it. I had a blast at every single one of those runs – laughed until my sides hurt every time (when you are laughing, shin splints are much more bearable) and enjoyed a well deserved cocktail at every finish line. *ahem*

12 5ks in 12 months

But what really stands out to make me an “exerciser” more than an “athlete” as the above writer points out so well is the schedule and priorities. See, when given the chance to work or work out… I choose work. Every time. When given the chance of hitting snooze or getting up to run… I hit snooze. And while I may get up and head to the beach on a Saturday morning to take the bike for a spin, I know that the reason I drive all the way out to the beach is not because it is a better ride – but because as soon as I am finished you will find me laying in my beach chair soaking up the sunshine right afterwards.

Do I exercise a lot? Yes. Do I do more than most people? Maybe if you compare me to the general population and not solely to the SBL girls (because let’s face it – they all absolutely rock!) Does that make me an athlete? No.

I do not know if I will ever be an “athlete” because at this time in my life, I do not care to be. It is not because I do not think I am capable – I am simply uninterested in putting training over my family, or my work, or my social life. Simple as that. I have no dream of completing an Iron Man or a marathon – although I DO plan to do a half marathon next year… but again just for fun. Well… and for a medal.

I am an exerciser… and I want to thank Greg for his post, and showing that being an exerciser is perfectly ok.

Putting Both Paddles In The Water

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Last week on my PartyPlanDivas training webinar I was discussing the importance of recruiting and personal sales in your direct sales business. Many direct sales consultants are really fantastic at one or the other – they either keep their calendar full of parties or they recruit a massive team and spend all of their time working with them. But to be truly successful in the business, you must do both. My training went a little something like this:

“It is like rowing a boat. Let’s say you only paddle on the right hand side – that is our sales side – your boat will move… in one big circle. And even though your circle will get a little bit bigger each time, you are still moving in a circle.  So let’s say you switch your paddle to just rowing on the left hand side – our recruiting side. Again – your boat will move – maybe even a little bit faster at first as it changes direction… but again you are going in one big circle. It isn’t until you begin to row on both sides – putting both “paddles” in the water that your boat truly begins to move forward.”

row boat
As I was talking my brain was going a million miles an hour – thinking “my God, that is what I am doing with my weight loss!” I have mastered both working out and eating right… but never at the same time! When I hired a personal trainer I was killing it on the lifting… while eating like garbage. Then I discovered whole30 and absolutely rocked that… but barely stepping foot in the gym or the zumba floor. And while I had some progress with either working out OR eating right, it makes me wonder what would happen if I “put both paddles in the water” with my health, the way I coach my Divas to do with their business.

We have all heard that the key to success is “diet and exercise”… not diet OR exercise. The key to party plan is sales and recruiting… also not “or.”

A few days ago I was feeling particularly down and I vented to my girlfriends and heard exactly what I needed to hear. It was the “tough love” that I needed, from the ladies I love and respect most. Because I am in a round of whole30, the advice was basically “get moving.” Then I realized this SAME person just a few months ago when I was working out like a fiend gave me a hard time about eating out at restaurants 3-4 times a week. I’ve never done both diet and exercise at the same time.

Then yesterday a friend of mine put a call out for accountability and support in her fitness goals, and a dialogue began on whether it is better to “go all in” or to make “one small change” and let that build. It was interesting to me to realize how different people are, and to solidify how much I am an “all or nothing” kind of girl. The only time I have ever had actual success with my goals was when I have been totally extreme – like choosing to do twelve 5ks in twelve months having not run in more than 10 years. However even then I really only ran the 5ks… I didn’t train in between like I said I wanted to. I also ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted most of the time. Again I had only one “paddle” in the water towards my goal.

Today I am on Day Eight of a whole45. I have said this entire round that something “clicked” and I feel more dedicated to it than I did even my first time. I feel like I finally – finally – have my eating under control. This weekend I had numerous opportunities to cheat – even sitting with my family last night at a restaurant while they ate my favorite appetizers and I sat waiting on my compliant meal.

Yesterday I picked up my triathlon bicycle to begin training for the SRI Tri in October. I have been doing POUNDFit every day in my living room. I am hiring a new personal trainer. My head is in the game.

And for the first time – probably ever…. I am rowing with both paddles.