A few weeks ago I was reading Molly Galbraith’s blog – which I love – and she talked about having a case of the “eff its” -
You know, the days, weeks, or months where you are so sick and tired of giving a damn about what you’re “supposed” to eat or what you’re “scheduled” to do in the gym this week. It’s enough to make you want to: scream, cry, punch something, quit, or all of the above?
Yeah, I’m there.
Don’t get me wrong, I am LOVING the changes I am seeing in my body. I am loving that even though I am hobbling today with my shin splints that yesterday I was doing 200 meter sprints on my daughters Middle School track… something I havent done since 1998.
I am loving that I pulled on a pair of jeans today only to take them off to look for the smaller pair that I like better cause they are tighter… and realized they WERE the smaller pair.
I am loving that I can now taste the preservatives and fat and stuff in “unclean” food, and that I noticeably feel different when I dont eat clean – which makes me naturally want to eat better tasting – i.e. healthier – foods.
I am loving that I have energy, feel great, and I didnt have to suffer in any way with pills, surgeries, or starving myself half to death.
But I am still suffering from the Eff Its.
Molly did a follow up post where she talked about how she did just say “eff it” for a few days to kinda refocus and recenter, and even posted pictures of her make-me-want-to-kill-her-amazing body after “effing it” for a few days… which naturally was flawless. (love ya, mean it) And when I first read it my thought was “well yeah if I looked like THAT I would have no guilt about saying eff it”….
But ya know what, I dont have to have any guilt anyway. Why do we DO that to ourselves?
I’ve lost 25 pounds this year. Remember this girl:
Yeah, well here I am now:
Yeah, I am proud of that. But in true Lynsey Form I didnt celebrate it, I only berated myself that I could have done more. And it has made me miserable.
So I am going to say “eff it” for a while… and I dont know how long. Truth is I realize I am not committed enough right now. I am just not that unhappy or uncomfortable where I am. I am a size 8 that should be a size 6… but you know what, a size 8 isnt bad. And I have had a butt on me since I was in Middle School so I am not real optimistic that it is going anywhere.
But I am very much “over” thinking about it all the time.
I am sick of feeling guilty after I eat something high in fat. Eff it. I am sick of feeling guilty when I dont get my run in ONE DAY. Eff it. I am sick of scouring over restaurant menus looking for something healthy or having to ask the server a million questions and order stuff “special” to save 100 calories. Eff it. I am sick of my girls saying “can we have something other than grilled chicken tonight?” Eff it. I am sick of weighing myself Every. Single. Morning. Eff it.
I am sure I will continue to walk because I enjoy it. I am sure I will continue to eat relatively clean because now it tastes better – but I will do both of those out of choice, not out of guilt or because I “have” to. It’s the holidays. The girls and I had so much fun Monday night making Jack-o-Lantern Cake Pops and then I cussed at not being able to eat a single one of them. I am not going to feel that guilt through this entire holiday season.
So this is me officially saying “Eff It” – at least for a while. My plan is to retrain my brain to not stress over calories in/calories out and just chill on trying to get off this plateau – even if that means I gain a little. What difference does it make, really? I’ve got a wonderful man who loved me 25 pounds ago… why do I care? I’ve always said I would rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry.
If you are feeling the same way – overwhelmed by counting calories, sick of beating yourself up in your head, tired of depriving yourself of Grandma’s macaroni and cheese which probably has enough calories for an entire week in one serving, sick of eating something and then feeling guilty afterwards…just say Eff It.
At least till January.
Good for you. I bet it will actually help you get off your plateau because you’re throwing your body out of it’s normal routine. You’ve done awesome and it’s something to be proud of.
I think we all go through it. I know I do. And, I know this is slightly different, but we have a strict diet for our son and there are days where we just want to say eff it and take him out to a regular restaurant and let him eat anything he wants. We don’t, but we want to sometimes. It can be so hard to deny yourself things even if you know what you are doing is right. It is just the fact that you are denying, not enabling. So we all go there. But I’m really proud of you, you have been doing amazingly!!!
I said Eff It too but didn’t announce it. I’m still on WW but not tracking everything to a T. I even let it go for our birthday/anniversary celebrations last week. And you know what? Overall I didn’t gain any weight from one week to the next. I didn’t lose any either, but not gaining was a big deal. But, I can tell when I don’t eat well too…and that’s enough motivation to stop myself.
You HAVE been doing amazing and you look great! This break will be good for you
Well I can tell you it feels GREAT to actually SAY IT. And then I got up today – and ate a banana and drank my green tea. Lunch was vegetables and hummus. And I was happy because I didnt think about it. I ate what I wanted. Tonights dinner will have rice. SO WHAT? Feels GREAT.
Honestly, I think you look FANTASTIC and I am sure that Mike won’t complain if that ass sticks around for a while.
We all need to take a step back now and then and indulge to make it easier to get back on track. That is why “diet’s” have cheat days – to make you realize how good it feels to make the right decisions and not have that sugar coma feeling after lunch. Give yourself a few days, a week, whatever. You will survive. 
Haha I am thinking 3 months… like… JANUARY rofl
PS – I guess I haven’t been on your blog in a while because I just saw that you have a new design. It looks GREAT!!!
Thanks so much for the kind words Lynsey! Your progress is amazing! Congrats! And yes, sometimes we need to say Eff-It so we don’t totally go off the deep end! And if I am being totally honest, my Eff-it phase has stretched out to almost 4 weeks now. I am going through some super stressful personal stuff and I haven’t had the time or energy or desire to kick butt in the gym or be a nutrition nazi. I have done some cardio, gotten in a couple of half-assed training sessions, and had Orange Leaf frozen yogurt 5 times in 8 days. =)
Luckily, I know myself well enough to know that this won’t last, and any “damage” done isn’t permanent. And honestly, one thing that has REALLY helped me from doing much “physique damage” is intermittent fasting (a quick aside… I hate calling it “damage” because who’s to say a couple extra lbs is “damage?!?” While I enjoy a leaner look, adding to my curves can be sexy too! It’s simply about balancing priorities, and sometimes that priority is to sacrifice and be slightly leaner, and sometimes it’s just not. Either way, I hope you know what I mean when I say “damage..”)
Intermittent fasting has allowed me to have some extra treats now and again without adding much, if any, body fat. However, it’s only a good thing if it feels good and natural. I would never suggest someone ‘force themselves to starve’ so that they can binge later. I feel great while fasting, and love that it allows for more, ahem, flexible food choices. And I don’t always fast, and I definitely don’t always fast when I am this stressed… but it is an option. I love Neghar’s article about it: http://www.negharfonooni.com/2012/07/intermittent-fasting-why-and-how-food.html
Thanks again for kind words!
~Molly
Hey Molly! Thanks for stopping by! I will check out that article. You know its always such a catch-22 with me, because everything from FitBit to MyFitnessPal to even my personal trainer keep saying “you dont eat enough” – and it sucks because I am NOT HUNGRY, so I feel like crap forcing myself to eat all the time. Especially when it is something I wouldnt really eat when I WAS hungry LOL
I just need a break from the pressure. Its suffocating.
Thanks for making it “ok” to say eff it. lol
You were beautiful 25 lbs. ago and beautiful now, inside and out.
I love you Shannon! Thank you!