My heart is heavy today … remembering 11 years ago. Such a sad day for the entire world.
I was newly divorced living in a little apartment in Gulf Breeze with Samantha who was 2. We had PlayHouse Disney on TV and I was getting her ready for preschool when I called a guy friend to ask a car question. (he worked at an auto store) I asked what he was doing and he said “Watching terrorists attack New York City” And I laughed and asked which movie he was watching.
He was a jokester and I didnt take him seriously until he begged me to just turn the News on. “It’s too early in the morning to give me a hard time,” I remember saying. I knew Sam would be mad for me interrupting Mickey, but I changed it just in time to see the second plane hit. I sat down in total disbelief and just watched the TV and cried. I turned PlayHouse Disney on Samantha’s tv in her room so I could watch the news in the living room.
My exhusband was active duty Navy at the time and on an undisclosed training mission. I frantically called the base what seemed like hundreds of times – unable to get through to anyone. Finally late that night I was able to get in touch with one of the guys I knew from the Squadron and he told me he had talked to J and he was fine.
For eleven days I watched nothing but coverage from Ground Zero. I collected every newspaper, read every story online, listened to very radio show. I cried a lot in those eleven days. I watched the rescues, the hundreds of replays of the second plane, the people covered in ashes, the fireman raising the American Flag. I heard the stories of the phone calls, the children, and the arguments before he left for work. I died a little bit each time they raised the death toll, and wondered if life was ever going to be the same.
It’s been 11 years since that day but I can still feel all of the pain and emotion I felt way back then. My Facebook stream is full of stories from where people were. No one has to say what they are referring to… just somber stories of where were all were almost exactly 11 years ago. We were all in different places, different lives, different experiences… but I think we all died a little that day.
This morning I took my 6 year old to the bus stop, came home to that 2 year old who is now 13 as she was getting ready to head of to middle school, and the man I love that I am so thankful to have in my life as he was leaving to go play a round of golf with his buddies. Once everyone was gone…. I sat down and cried.
We may never fully recover from that day, and maybe that is a good thing.
So…where were you?