Last week I had the pleasure of joining nearly 300 bloggers in gorgeous Orlando Florida for the TypeA East Social Media conference. Even though I have gone to several TypeA's this one was by far my favorite. Maybe it was because I met some of the best bloggers in the world, maybe it was because we had amazing speakers and I learned so much... or maybe it was because it made me realize that I have been focusing my time, energy, and money on the wrong things. The truth is I have not been "fully present" in several aspects of my life - including this blog - because of distractions that I have let get in the way. One of those distractions that kept coming up... was running.
The truth is that running is a sport that requires more time and dedication than I have to give. As much as I love it...I just don't have the passion for it that I once did. I have not been able to run well since I tore my fascia in July of last year and now every time I run even one little mile, I have to spend the rest of the day icing and stretching and hobbling around. No amount of therapy I have done over the last 15 months has improved that. The only thing that helps... is not running. Because of it being so painful it has not been a priority - which has only made it worse because I go so long between runs. It has made the goal of doing longer runs seem more and more impossible with every passing day. It has been a vicious cycle - and one I am ready to let go of.
So... I have decided I am not going to do Battleship next weekend. Nor am I going to worry about the marathon in February. In fact, I doubt you guys will see me running more than a 5k anytime soon. As much as I love running, I do not have the time to dedicate to longer runs. Instead, I am going to enjoy my occasional little 3.1's - and the beers at the end with my SweatSisterz - and be happy! The 5ks are a fun distance, and I can keep my addiction to race bling going with all of the awesome virtual runs that I can do, and I can let go of the stress of feeling like I "need" to run longer (or else I am going to die a slow and painful death on a race course somewhere.)
It was a tough decision to make - I feel like a "quitter" on some level - but it is a necessary one. And making the decision felt like an enormous weight being lifted, so I know it is the right thing. It has also reminded me that it is ok to leave behind things that no longer serve you or make you happy. Goals can change the same way people do - and it is perfectly ok. Sometimes what we THINK we want we discover isn't all that important when it comes right down to it.
So I have hung up my running shoes, removed my training schedule from google calendar, and spent some time just letting it all sink in... and to be honest I could not be more excited.